Well, it looks like this might be my last post for a while. It seems Dani is itching to take control of her blog back. I hope you'll read the rest of my story in Submerged. Today's subject is a touchy one for me. I'm a Christian. I should know all about redemption. Thing is, I believe Christ died for my sins and I believe He saved me, but I still struggle. As you've learned these past few weeks if you read my posts on Facing Your Fears and Shame (still stinging from that one), I continue to wrestle with fear and shame.

I should know better. I should have it all together on the inside like I do on the outside, but I don't.

I still struggle.

I still hurt.

Regret and shame still cling to me like an ugly old sign flashing 'she doesn't belong.'

I strive to be good, to be perfect and on the outside I might even appear to be, but on the inside....

Bethany shared redemption's definition over on Katie's blog today. Four and Five hit me the hardest.

1. An act of redeeming or the state of being redeemed

2. Deliverance or rescue

3. Deliverance from sin; salvation

4. Atonement from guilt (I wish! I know I'm saved, but I fear this guilt will never go away. And, in truth, I don't deserve for it to).

5. Repurchase, as of something sold (I gave myself away painfully enough, but you're going to have to read my story if you want to find out more, because unlike Dani, I'm not ready to share the source of my shame).

What about you? Which definition of redemption hits you hardest, for good or for bad?

Check out Dani's Facebook Author Page or Katie Ganshert's Facebook Author Page for some encouragement regarding redemption.

Do you ever feel the hot sting of shame? Ever feel that you're not enough, you'll never be enough? You're not alone. My name is Bailey Craig and I've wrestled with shame for years.

Shame grips you, makes you want to shrink away and cower in your pitiful ugliness, in your past sins and mistakes. It whispers you don't belong. You'll never belong.

That's where I am--knowing I don't belong. Knowing that no matter how put together I look on the outside, no matter how confident I may appear, inside I'm suffocating and scared. The past lingers and the shame remains. Reminding me of what I've done, of who I used to be.

Leave it to Dani to make me face it. At least I'm not alone. Bethany is suffering too, only at Katie's hands.

I wonder how Dani and Katie would feel if we brought up the things that cause them shame. Would they really make us faces our pasts? Would Dani really bring me face-to-face with my shame and the one person it wounded most?

I doubt it, but here I am, about to face my fears and the overwhelming burn of shame. I pray I make it through. Pray I don't yearn to shrivel away when my past catches up with me.

How about you? Do you ever wrestle with shame?

Dani and Katie are chatting about shame today on their FB Authors Pages, offering words of encouragement.

Missed last week's post on Facing Your Fears? Click here.

You may have noticed that I didn't post last Friday. I was helping take care of my mom. We found out recently that her cancer has spread to her brain which is, of course, very serious. She recently had surgery and is undergoing treatment, but it is taking its toll. So this week, in honor of my mom, I want to share one of my very favorite things about her and that is perseverance. My mom is an absolutely phenomenal example of perseverance. She has been battling this disease since the late 80's with a sixteen year remission period that unfortunately ended five years ago. I looked up perseverance on Dictionary.com and found two very different definitions:

• 1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

• 2.Theology . continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

I would wager when the world thinks about perseverance, they think of definition  number one--persisting in spite of obstacles.

While this type of perseverance is helpful, I believe my mom's perseverance is more closely linked  with definition number two. Despite everything she is continuing in a state of grace. Her perseverance comes from within; it comes from the knowledge that God is in control.  It comes as a gift from God.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1

She could choose to refuse treatment, she could give up, but she continues pressing forward on the path she feels led. She is running the race He has laid out for her and trusting  Him with the outcome.

Mom had and I had a good chat recently. She told me that she  isn't scared, that she knows where she's going when she dies and exactly Who will be calling her home. I heard this song after visiting with her that day.

I pray this peace reigns in your hearts.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year! Writing adventurous romantic suspense novels like Submerged, I spend a lot of time researching athletes and looking for inspiration.  Today I'd like to share a bit about an adventurous athlete that inspires me.

• Bethany Hamilton

Perhaps you already know about her. The recent movie Soul Surfer was about her shark attack and miraculous come back.  She's a Christian, a surfer, and an amazing young woman who likes to help others. You can visit her website for more details about the ministries she partners with. I'd like to highlight one in particular:

Friends of Bethany is a non-profit organization dedicated to sharing the hope and love of Jesus Christ worldwide by supporting and inspiring people through the life stories of Bethany Hamilton and others.Bethany's  family and friends started the foundation with the goal of supporting and encouraging shark attack survivors and traumatic amputees, along with presenting inspiring life stories through movies, projects, and activities.

Suffering such a traumatic and life-altering injury, Bethany could have easily given up on her dream to become a pro surfer, but instead she chose to trust God with her dream and she got back on that surfboard only a month after the attack. Amazing! Bethany's hope, determination, and abundant faith inspire me.

To learn more about Bethany visit her webpage or blog. Trust me, you'll be inspired.

Enjoy the Adventure,